


Avenoir

by doitchuu



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, Happy endings do not exist, Maybe I'm sad idk, pure angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-15 04:24:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20860205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doitchuu/pseuds/doitchuu
Summary: Noun. The desire that memory could flow backward.





	Avenoir

Morning peaked in, slowly lighting up the whole room. A stream of oranges and yellows slowly filled the room as Haseul opened her eyes; her world now filled with sunlight. She smiled, seeing the gentle glow on the face of her lover which was still facing hers. She gave her a peck on the cheek as the other eyes slowly fluttered open.

“Good morning,” Viian said with a slight yawn. Haseul smiled wider, the other girls mouth now forming a grin as well.

“What?” Viian asked moving closer, their noses now touching as Haseul started laughing, then slowly but surely, orange haired girl started doing the same. Viian always said her laughter was contagious. 

“Nothing,” Haseul said as she reached out for the others hand and clasped them together. She looked into the older girls big brown eyes, stroking her cheek lightly. She touched the hand on her cheek and brought their bodies closer together, as close as they can possibly get.

“How did you sleep?” Asked Viian, yawning again. 

“Good and you?” 

“Amazing.” 

“You always say that.” Teased Haseul, “Sometimes I don’t believe you.” Viian rolled her eyes.

“I’m sleeping next to you, how could I not?” Said Viian, lips spreading into a full blown smile again, perfectly matching the others. Haseul thought she should say it. Why not you know?

\----------------------

Haseul was still mad at the way everything had to change. The world she lived in for 4 years seemed like a dreamland now. Yeah, it had the day to day pressures, but in the world she lived in nobody cared who or what you were as long as you kept it discreet. Now, she had to get a husband and get serious about her life. It was expected of her. Pressures from her family and seeing her friends openly fall in love weighed on her a bit. Everyone's been telling her it's time to start thinking about children, raising a family. In the real world, there was no place for woman she fell in love with in the states apparently. So she conformed. Slowly going from single to engaged. Her wedding was in less than two weeks and honestly, she felt horrible about the whole thing. Mostly because of this.

This is why she was here. 

"Room 124," Haseul said a little too quickly,the woman at the desk looked at her curiously but gave him the key and sent her on her way. Then the waiting game began, since as usual, she was the first one there. Sitting in silence and anticipation, twiddling her thumbs attempting to keep calm, but she couldn't. This time was different. They last met up about a year ago. It was understandable though, since both of them led a different life since they graduated. Everyone in their friend group did. Whether it was settling down with their respective partners and starting families like Sooyoung and Jinsol. Maintaining bachelorette hood to avoid the truth like she did. Or simply living life away from everything like Viian seemed to do. But this time was different nonetheless. Because this was the last time, she had to break this off. It was time. This has gone on long enough. 

Then coming like an answer to her silent prayer and a distraction from her thoughts, there was a knock on the door. A knock on the door set her heart into a frenzy. Only a knock, because she knew that knock. It was the same knock that broke the silence of the dorm at night. The same soft knock that could be on every hotel door in every part of the world and she would know exactly who it was. A knock that was just for her. 

"Viia-," She opened up the door, but she had barely said anything before a hungry kiss was planted on her lips. She pulled away and they looked at each other. Viian's genuine and heart stopping smile, the others piercing eyes. Older looking now, yes, but they were still the same, they were always the same. The love for each other was still there, as it was from day one. That love running so deep within them that they would almost forget they belonged to someone else. Almost.

"I've missed you," Were the only words said before she attacked her lips again. Hands began roaming each others bodies. Kissing, nipping, and sucking on each others skin. They were setting each other on fire, with no plans to cool off or stop anytime soon.

"Baby, please," Nearly moaned Haseul into his neck as the other kissed hers. Hands now pulling and tugging on the others shirt. "We need to talk," Started Haseul but it fell on deaf ears. 

Viian now having plans of her own as she was still leaving a hot and passionate trail of love bites on her body. Soon shirts were removed, kisses now extended. Haseul was now lost in a mess of held back moans and deep, shallow breaths. Kisses and touches eventually went south. It seemed as if she were going slower now, now taking her sweet time to lick, suck, nip, kiss and feel her skin.

"Please," Begged Haseul, her eyes welling up with tears as she was cruelly ignored once again, the other continuing her painfully slow journey down her body. 

"So what did you want?" Teased Viian as she was kissing her way down her navel and slowly pulling her pants off. 

"You," She breathed back with absolutely no hesitation. That's what she's always wanted, the only thing she can truly say she did want. It would happen to be the only thing she couldn't truly have as well.

It seemed to be always like this. There was no pretense, no pretending. They were too old for that. They weren't children anymore.They didn't pretend they were going to have a future together, against the odds. They didn't kid themselves into believing love would conquer all. People have tried that, it didn't work. They knew better now, they now knew exactly what this was. What this would be, what all of it ever come out to be. And years later, they were still here and it remained the same. They were in love, after all this time. Rings donned their fingers, but that fact remained the same. That reason alone is why their paths crossed again. Why they keep crossing, why they'll always cross. Long after this was over, after their lives end. Forever linked in secret, eternally lovers. 

They began to meld together finally becoming one again. Forgetting about their lives and the outside world. Going back to the day where they first said I love you to each other. But before they knew it, it was over. Looking at the time they knew they had to go home to real life. Haseul to her soon to be husband and Viian to hers. Haseul hated herself and there was still the matter of breaking it off. After slipping on her shirt she took a deep breath and turned around, only to immediately smile at what she was seeing. 

“Could you?" Viian said softly after a few minutes more of wrestling with her shirt. Haseul obliged, struggling a bit herself. Buttons, she decided quietly, we’re so much easier to undo.  
Haseul finished and looked up at the other girl smiling shyly. She forgot how demure Viian could be. They stood in silence for a few minutes more after awkwardly extending the moment. They didn't really, talk after. Usually exiting the room one after the other. If they do exchange words it’s usually in the lobby or during the act. Never, after. 

“Well,” Started Haseul, completely abandoning her plan and deciding to send a text instead. “We should get going.” She began to grab her things but a tug on her hand caught her off guard. 

“Wait.” Viian whispered. “We need to talk.” Haseul sighed in relief. They both wanted to break it off. They were both in relationships. They both had other obligations. It was time.

“I didn’t want to tell you like this but this felt like the perfect moment.” Viian looked very distressed and she didn’t want to go through the motions like this. If they both got what they said out of the way it would be done and they could both stop feeling so guilty.  
“Vi, it’s okay.” Haseul started by squeezing her hand, “I want to break it off too.” The older girl looked confused and shook her head. Haseul decided to elaborate.

“We both need to move on from this. It’s okay you don’t have to say it. We’re both in relationships-” Viian looked at Haseul with even more confusion. Pulling out something from her bag and throwing it on the bed. Divorce papers.

“Seul, I want to be with you. I only ever wanted to be with you.” Haseul looked at the papers making sure she wasn’t dreaming. By the time Haseul could form a thought, Viian started to speak again.

“I have enough money of my own so even if my parent’s disown me and take me out of the will I’ll live pretty comfortably.” Viian took her hand. “So what do you say Haseul? You wanna run away together?” In that instant she nearly forgot about the man she fell in love with and unbeknownst to anyone but herself, the young life inside her. Then it all came rushing back.

“I….I’m-” Haseul pulled away. If Haseul knew any better she would assume she was close to having a panic attack but in that moment it just felt like heartache. Curling up on the floor in near tears she felt like all the air was sucked from her body. 

“What’s wrong?” Asked Viian, rushing to her side. “Are you okay?” Haseul pushed her away. 

“I’m getting married. I can’t runaway with you.” Viian tilted her head and a twisted smile came across her face.

“Since when?” Haseul didn’t answer. Viian laughed.

“You let me pour my heart out and didn’t even to THINK to let me know you we’re getting married?! Did you get a laugh at me telling you I love you? It was funny right. I’m the fool who’s in love with someone who’s getting married.” Haseul suddenly felt like she wanted to explode. 

“Are you serious right now Viian? Did you ever think that I was the same kind of fucking fool? Because I was you got hitched first and I felt like a fool every damn time I came to see you and your husband?” Viian rolled her eyes.

“You knew our marriage was fucking sham. I spent my honeymoon with YOU. Anniversaries with YOU. Or did you conveniently forget that when you said woah is me huh?” 

“It’s not my fault that you were scared of your parents.” 

“It's not my fault your scared of yours either.”

“Well it’s not my fault that I love someone who loves me back unconditionally. Because you have conditions, Vi. Put up with your fucking petty bullshit. Put up with the fact that your parents money came before our love. Put up the fact that not only are you were fucking married, that you expect me to drop everything and run to you when your done with that. I’m tired of it. After every single time, we left the hotel separately. Or saw each other rarely in passing. I always wondered, ‘Do I really mean anything to her?’ Do I Vivi?” Haseul knew that she cut too deep there because the eldest looked like she was on the verge of tears.

“You mean the world to me.”

“Well,” Said Haseul, pausing in front of the door. “I don’t think you mean anything to me anymore.” 

\----------------------

“I love you,” Haseul whispered after awhile, giving her girlfriend a soft kiss on the lips. Viian almost didn’t believe what she said at first.

“You love me?” Haseul nodded. “You sure you got the right girl?”

“Wong Viian, I love you.” Haseul repeated, louder and more sure of herself. The other girl smiled.

“Good thing cause I love you too, Jo Haseul.” They didn’t say anything for a while. Taking in this perfect moment.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what to really say about this? ksxbhjndks


End file.
